Saturday morning, I slept in for the first time in six months. I had a lazy morning drinking coffee and eating breakfast with my guys. Then J and I got changed, laced up our shoes and took Rudy for a nice walk. It was a beautiful morning–windy and clouds were moving in, but it hadn’t started storming just yet.
My ankle felt strong and I felt so excitement like I haven’t felt in months. We got home from our walk, I said goodbye to my guys and headed out for what I hoped was going to be a 2-3 easy mile run. I was back! I was picturing the glory of posting a running photo on Instagram for the first time in 5 weeks. The joy of coming to the blog and getting to write out “I’M BACK!” I started running and immediately started analyzing how my ankle felt.
With every step I felt jerky. My ankle felt weak, which was not unexpected, my legs felt jello-y, but I was running! And then I started to feel a strain. And each time my right foot went to push off from the ground, I felt another, more intense strain. I ran a few steps wondering if it was something I could run through, and then I came to a stop. I was .10 miles from my house.
I bent over to massage my ankle a little bit, with some kind of false hope that I was going to be able to massage out the pain and go running anyway. I knew that wasn’t going to happen though, so I turned around and walked back home. I walked back in the front door with such intense feelings of disappointment and frustration. I told J it wasn’t ready yet and sat on the floor in defeat for a while.
Eventually, I got up, got dressed and went about the rest of my day.
Monday morning, I got up early, got on the treadmill and walked with the mill at a 6.0 incline for 30 minutes. At the very end, I flattened it back out and ran a 400–and it didn’t feel awful. It didn’t feel great, but it felt better then it did on Saturday. Today after work I have an appointment with my friend that’s a massage therapist. She’s going to work on my ankle and legs. I’m optimistic. After she played with it for 10 minutes two weeks ago, it felt a million times better. I don’t think I’ll be running on Wednesday, but maybe Friday….(insert hopeful face here)
I feel like I’ve been pretty damn optimistic for the last five weeks, so I’m going to go ahead and say it. I’m so frustrated. I’m so tired of not running.
I’m still being smart and not running. And it sucks.